When I was a
toddler I learned, by instincts may be, to hold on to things, so that I do not
fall. This became programmed into my sub conscious and holding on to things,
people specially, became a survival necessity. However, as I grew old, with
experience, painful experiences, I learned that survival is not in holding on
to things but letting go of them.
Pain, as I see
now, is the biggest teacher in our life. The pain when you feel someone is
close to you yet they turn out to be as far as you thought they are near. The pain
in betrayal, unfaithfulness, deceit, and lies. When I give my all to someone, I
sometimes think, then how can that person not at least acknowledge? I don’t expect
them to return what I gave, as that makes the deed conditional, and love, true
love is a deed that is unconditional. But yes, I do expect respect. Respect at least
the intent with which someone puts all of his heart and soul at the mercy of a
person he loves
If you can’t
take care of my heart then return it to me, don’t trample it under your feet. Yes
when I gave it to you it was never meant to be returned as is any gift from one
person to the other. But have you ever felt the hurt when someone throws away your
gift to them, right in front of your eyes? I bet if you had known that pain,
you would have thought twice before you did that.
Pain, when
it gets beyond you, makes you do things that otherwise you are not capable of
doing. Because survival is another basic instinct we are born with. And a
survivor I am too. So don’t take me for granted. Not everyone deserves to have
what I can give, in terms of my affection, care, and selfless love. If you have
better options please chose them over me, but don’t play ball. I am not a joke!
Time, as we
learn over time itself, is the best healer. We lose our loved ones, to death,
and to people’s deeds, but yet we continue the journey of life. Letting go is
not giving up. It’s a mature call to choose between happiness and pain, better
and worst, right and wrong. And what makes sense for me might not make the same
sense for you, but we have to be happy inside first to see the world happy. Because
happiness comes from inside, not from others.
Everything
in this world happens for a purpose. People cross paths, sometime to stay together,
and sometime to just cross. Either way, we learn something that builds us or
breaks us. This is called experience!
So while
you seek your happiness in someone that is not me, then I too have the right to
seek for myself something which is not painful. It is not about who won and who
lost. Because we win and loose in competitions, and love is not a competition but
a blessing only few of us are fortunate enough to fill their hearts with. And
it seems one of us was not that fortunate!
So good bye
dear, move on, but return my heart, cuz it still has your name on it, and I do
want to keep at least the least I can keep of you with me.
