Wish You Were Here....

"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence Kelland"

May 1935 ~ Feb 2008

Three years have passed
I’ll never forget the day
Someone rang to tell me
That you’d gone away

The hurt is the same
Like an open wound
There are days
I don’t utter a sound

Some days the pain is stronger 
It makes me sick and weak
I can’t stand this much longer
I just sit here and weep

I’ve shut my private door
And let no one in
Locking myself in a box
They try, but I won’t give in

You were like a rock
Strong, faithful and true
What worth has my life 
Now I don’t have you

I was your first born
Papa's little boy
I took my own path
But was still part of your world

I was not the best
Guilty of neglect
But you know Papa dearest
I had so much respect

I always loved you
My papa, my star
Now my pain is
To worship you from afar

I love you now
As I did back then
I just hope... one day
I will see you again

I am so proud of you 
Brave and strong to the end
Now when asked “how are you?”
There is no need to pretend

We all love and miss you so much, sleep well 
and take care of all who went before you

Adopted from © Diana Doyle

It was a handshake I would never forget. Khuda Hafiz and a fatherly look of farewell. 'Take care beta, we'll meet soon'. Soon we met again, but only when the warmth of my father's hand was taken over by the coldness of death. 12 feb 2008, I left my father, on his bed for a afternoon nap, to return to my work city, only to be called back from airport just past few hours.  His journey of life came to an end for a new beginning of afterlife. My hero, my mentor, my best friend...my father left the rein of life in my hands. His work was finished.

Born to a middle class but highly educated family in east Punjab, he migrated to newly created Pakistan with my grand father in 1947. Graduated as an Electrical Engineer after winning accolades in academics in his college and university.  Joined Siemens Pakistan and then Siemens Germany finally before coming back to Pakistan and settling up his own Instrumentation and Controls design and erection firm in 1969. A company he spent all his energy and youth to turn into the biggest and best established company of its kind in that period. He was involved in commissioning of a large number of basic industries of Pakistan including the first paper and board mill, sugar mills, fertilizer plants (including the one I currently work for), and refineries. He was known for his business acumen and technical knowledge in Pakistani circles of that era. As a person yet he was humble, very open minded, one with a very positive and optimistic outlook of everything, and a well wisher for everyone. He had lots of admirers and friends but rarely a foe. 

As a father, he was a role model. He inculcated the same values and principles in us that he followed all his life. He believed in quality education and that he ensured for us. He believed in living for the present and never tried to or got worried over materialistic issues. I never saw him keeping a wallet. Whatever savings he had were either promptly deposited with my mother or handed over to the first needy person he could find. He liked to dressed well but his wardrobe was never full of cloths as he didn't believe in extravagance.  After his business hours, he ensured that he spend quality time with his family. We always found him whenever we required him. He was our mentor, our guide, and our best friend. 

He was a fighter who fought for 12 years with Parkinson's disease, never ever letting it take control of himself.  Mid nineties was a economically tough time for our family but I never saw him giving up his ground. He sheltered us from the tough conditions and ensured that we complete our eduction without getting affected. I cannot forget the pride and satisfaction on his face the day I came back after completing my degree and joined his office. He was there to guide me everyday even under severe handicap condition due to his disease.    It was because of him that I am, whatever I am today.

I miss you papa. I remember your protective hands when I carry my own son today. When I take him to eid prayers i cant help remembering the days when you used to take me to the mosque. I miss the shoulder that you provided me whenever i needed it the most. I miss the dearest friend that I had in you when I need to share my problems with someone. I know you are in a better world than ours but I wish you were here !